Why My "Toxic Positivity" Might Actually Be a Strength

Everyone's talking about toxic positivity like it's the worst thing you can do. Psychology experts warn against it. Self-help gurus say it's harmful. And they’re often right.

But what if they're wrong when it comes to the mindset needed to drive change and lead initiatives? What if the same pattern that therapists warn against is exactly what separates top performers from everyone else who gives up at the first sign of real difficulty?

I've been accused of toxic positivity more times than I can count. After 25 years of building things, I'm starting to think it might be one of my greatest strengths—not despite the label, but because of what it represents in an action-oriented context.

The Problem with "Processing" Before Action

I once suggested to a friend who was stuck in her career that she spend one week focused only on what she could control. Her response? "That's toxic positivity. I need to process my negative emotions first." Six months later, she was still processing. Still stuck.

That’s when I realized the crucial distinction: the therapeutic definition of "processing" assumes you have the luxury of waiting for the right emotional state before acting. But in a professional career, action while uncomfortable is often the only path forward.

If I had stopped to "process" every negative emotion I felt when building a project—every piece of critical feedback, every budget cut, every stakeholder conflict—I would have been processing full-time. Instead, I developed what some would call toxic positivity:

• I focused relentlessly on solutions instead of problems.
• I assumed every setback was temporary.
• I acted confident even when I felt lost.

This approach kept me moving forward when stopping would have meant giving up. It's a key part of building confidence to act despite uncertainty.

Productive Positivity vs. Delusional Positivity

I'm not advocating for ignoring reality. There's a crucial difference.

• Delusional Positivity: Denies negative emotions, pressures others to "just be positive," and avoids addressing real problems.
• Productive Positivity: Acknowledges negative emotions but doesn't let them dictate action. It focuses on finding the next step while accepting the problem is real.

The boundary is simple: if your positivity helps you act despite fear, it's productive. If it prevents you from acknowledging real problems, it's delusional.

How to Develop Productive Positivity

This is a learnable skill, not a personality trait.

1. Acknowledge, then Pivot to Action. Yes, this feedback stings. Yes, this setback is frustrating. But what's my next move? This isn't denial; it's a refusal to let problems consume your mental energy.
2. Reframe Setbacks as Data. Instead of denying that failure hurts, you quickly shift to asking, "What does this teach me?" This is a powerful technique for taking action despite fear of making a mistake.
3. Use the Two-Track System. When something goes wrong, your first question is always: Track 1: "What's my next move?" After you've taken that next step, you can allow yourself Track 2: "How do I feel about what happened?" Action comes first.

The professionals who succeed long-term are the ones who can act while feeling bad. While others are waiting to feel confident, you can be taking the actions that build confidence. Your "toxic positivity" isn't a character flaw to fix—it's a professional strength to leverage.

The 6-week FSTEP program helps you build the habit of productive positivity, focusing on solutions and consistent action even when things are uncertain.

See how this mindset feels in practice with our free 5-Day Action Challenge.